I have to say that I’m a bit surprised at the form of responses I got on Volume 1 of this short series. My post usually get a good amount of comments if not on the blog itself then at least on my fb wall. I probably got more responses yesterday than I ever have, but just not on fb or my blog! Except for Liz, thanks Liz!! My phone blew up with text messages, black berry messengers and the fb e-mails came pouring in! I have to say I think its funny no one wanted to say what was on their mind out in the open for the world to see! Don’t be shy people! If I can laugh about this and take it lightheartedly so should you!!
So before I spill the beans, anyone want to take a guess at what C.I.G.S. stand for?? Give it a shot! Again, Tony, shhhhhhh!
I went into this very open minded. Like I said before I’ve made serious fun of my guy friends who have joined these sites. It’s really changed my way of thinking a lot over a short amount time. I’ve decided that online dating is not for me, I don’t feel its natural. There’s a pressure to it that is non existent in the “real world”. Let me try to explain.
When you are out in the “real world” or in social environment and you meet someone, regardless if it is a friend of a friend of just another bar patroon, you talk about very general things. “So how long have you known so and so for?” “Hows your night going?” Short. Sweet. General. When you talk to someone from an online dating site, either online or finally in person, the questions and conversation are more “So do you have siblings?” “How would you describe your family?” Questions that you would never ask in the “real world” because you’d be afraid the other person would think you’re nuts, or at least a tad strange. It more or less an interview. You want to be honest but because of the possibility of a potential relationship forming, you pick and choose your words very carefully. You think before you speak. You are your best representation of yourself. This my friends, does not seem natural to me.
In my experience, my best relationships have come from really knowing the person first. And getting to know them did not start of with questions like “How many kids do you think you want to have someday?” lol! It’s hard to be yourself….. I’m talking about your real self….and feel comfortable with someone. When I meet someone knew I think to myself, “oh god, how is this person going to handle it when I (insert blank here) for the first time.
One of my ex’s and I were great friends before we started a relationship, room mates even. I remember thinking, “wow, this guy has seen me at my worst and my best. He’s seen me decked out from heel to toe, balancing a full time job and being a full time student and then also holding my hair back as I’m puking my brains out from a heavy night of drinking; with makeup runing down my face, hair a mess and well, puke breath…eeeeeew”! AND HE STILL LIKES ME?!?!? AND THINKS I’M HOT?!?!? Fucking awesome, lets do this then.
I guess I’m just saying that these days I’m feeling like all natural is the way to go.
Anyways, more will come on the most annoying things about online dating and yes, I did not forget, an overview of my only meet up!
Until next time, I gotta run!
The online thing is definitely not for everyone. My situation is different than yours; I’m in my thirties, divorced, and not into the the bar scene. So, dating sites are just another way to meet guys; sort of like a substitute for the bars. But, I still have to weed through the weirdos. Too many people think that just because you exchange a couple of emails on some random site that you are “dating.” Nah uh. The sites are just a way to meet people; dating comes later.
Comment by Sue — May 11, 2010 @ 5:41 pm
alright girlie here it is…let me start of by saying that you are freaking hysterical. ok i totally agree with you about the online dating thing, it seems very forced and unnatural. as if dating someone new isnt awkward enough. i have heard of some success stories but i think that they are few and far between. i also think that people our age have this crazy theory that you have to always be dating someone and be married by 30 or there is something wrong with you!! seriously has anyone ever thought that someone might be single by CHOICE not because they have some defect.
well i guess my rant is over. thanks for taking one for the team and i cant wait to hear more about your experiences
Comment by mary — May 11, 2010 @ 9:15 pm
Maria welcome to the dating world. When you meet that person who caught your eye and made heart pound a little faster these are reasonable questions to ask someone that you first meet. Not sure about the “How would you describe your family?” (never asked that one right of the rip) sounds more like in online question. Anywho…. meeting someone for the first time on the internet or in person can come with a lot of anxiety. What do i say? Which questions should i ask first? What do i wear? Should ask that in the first date? AHHHHHHHH!!!!! Take deep breath your both in the same boat. Meeting someone in a bar can be a little risky because your not sure if the person who is asking you all these penetrating questions is really interested in you or interested in getting you out of those new jeans you bought. When alcohol is in the mix you tend to throw out your inhibitions. Most of the time when your at a bar your around a bunch of other people who are most likely tippsy, buzzed, or flat out drunk. So your not really yourself and neither is the other person. This can be risky when your getting to know each other. Online can be a good way to meet someone because you have less of chance of meeting someone who is out on the town possible looking for there next notch on there head board. It does make breaking the ice a little less awkward. If you can get through the online application form of the other person this can be a good first step to meeting in person. To each there own.
I prefer meeting in person that’s just the type of person i am, IE…it works for me. For me it leaves more for conversation. When meeting someone at a bar i have tried not to get into any deep conversations but more or less keep things short and sweet. I would ask that we meet somewhere else that is a little more intimate that way you can get to know each other, and actually be able to listen to what the other person is saying. And I don’t use pick up lines, I like to start by saying Hi, my name is_____. Simplicity is often over looked
I 100% agree being friends or knowing someone first can lead to a wonderful relationship because you skip all the formalities. And you pretty much now each other you just have to explore the romance part.
Well thats my .02
Hmm C.I.G.’S =(C)an (I) (g)et (s)ex?…..FAIL
MY REAL GUESS (C)reepy (I)nternet (G)uy(’s )
Comment by Dan — May 13, 2010 @ 9:13 am