Hmmmm….where to start! When you work in the bar businesses for 12 years you pretty much hear it all. I’ve often considered myself a therapist and even charged an extra buck or two to those who think they are in a shrink’s office and not at a bar. Oh and just a quick note, crying at the bar is not cool and will not get you a pity date! Not only am I going to share with you the 5 worst/most corny pick up lines that I’ve heard but I’m also going to share a story on what has made me run in the opposite direction!

Here we go:

1)    (after brief conversation about my running) “Really? You’re a runner? I knew it! Cause you’ve been running through my mind all day!”
This line is sooooo old! The guy knew it was dumb but felt it appropriate as I am a runner!

2)    “Hey cutie, do you wash your shorts with Windex? Cause I can see myself in them.”
Gag!! What the hell is wrong with people!!

3)    Bar dude “Got plans after your shift is over? I was thinking we could go back to my place, order a pizza and well….you know.”
My reply “ahhhh…noooooo”
Bar dude “What you don’t like pizza”?
Witty, I will give him that!

4)    Very Drunk dude “I think…..I think…. I think I fell in love! I did…for sure…yes I love you! You’re the one for me! But I’m not worthy…..who cares though…come on baby….lets go….if I can get it up you won’t regret it….”
Yes, this actually went down while closing up one night and there was a huge audience. It was the funniest god dammed thing I’d ever heard!!

5)    Bar dude “You must get hit on all the time being a cute bartender” (nooooo I’ve never heard this and have no idea where your going with it, please continue) “Well, I never do this myself and I know it’s totally cliché, but maybe I can take you out sometime”. Oh yes! Because the only thing I know about you is that you have bad taste in Vodka and you ask out bartenders after your first sip. One, you’re a light weight and two, you just suck at life.

Not too many things scare me away or freak me out. Congratulations to this winner:

I chilled with this guy a couple times and had a pretty good time. One night we met at a bar and then were heading back to his place. He told me to follow him. As I’m driving behind him I notice a bumper sticker on his bumper (go figure)! I could see an outline of a cat or something and I thought “how nice, he’s an animal lover”. As we approach a red light I’m able to read the sticker. It reads: Save a Mouse. Eat a Pussy. I decided he was probably a pig and turned at the light as he kept going straight!

What’s the Worst Line Someone has Used on You?!?!

Also know as Pet Peeves. In order of my level of Pisstivity:

1) Not Retuning your Shopping Cart after use.

This is extremely rude and lazy of you. I feel that you are basically implying that you do not give a shit about other people’s property.  It only takes about a maximum of 1 minute to wheel your cart to the cart rack or back to the front of the store. I’m sure it’s safe to say that most of us have gotten a “shopping cart ding” on our cars. Pretty annoying right?!?

2) Littering

This also falls into the lazy category. Garbage is gross. It belongs where its name comes from, in the garbage! Last I knew, streets and parking lots are not considered garbage and therefore, should not house any. I own a house in Schenectady and like most area’s, there are very nice sections and others that are a bit on the crappy side Take some freakin pride in where you live or where others live and wait until you get to a garbage can before dumping your unwanted!

3) Wal-Mart Greeters that Don’t say Hello

Helloooooo people! Do your job! All you have to do is say “Hi” when I walk in. Is it that hard? Really? Do my job for one day and see how lucky you have it! You’ll be greeting, telling jokes and giving hand jobs!

4) Scents that are not really a Smell

Example: My Febreze Air Effects (air freshener) scent is “Mistletoe and Magic”. What the hell does magic smell like?!? Or how about Snuggle Fabric Softener “Blue Sparkle”. WTF?

5) Front Page Articles that end up Sucking

Shape, March 2010 “The new Sex Secret all Women should Know”

Article: less than half a page and in summary read: “Exercise has proven to boost libido in women, thus making them more receptive to sexual influences”. Talk about popcorn with no butter!!

What Pisses You Off?!? Go Ahead, Let it All Out!!

These last couple weeks have been simply crazy trying to organize and get everything all set and ready to go for U4T. For those of you who don’t know, U4T stands for United 4 Thacher – A Celebration of Thacher Park. 518fever.com is hosting the event next month at Proctors Theatre. We have a ton lined up for the evening and still have many more things in the works. I have to say that I am completely shocked at the amount of positive responses and feedback we have gotten. So many people have volunteered their time and their services for this event. Many of these people are complete strangers. Every day my inbox fills up with local people and businesses reaching out to us to offer their support. It’s truly amazing and has reinforced my belief that people are generally good. Yes, there will always be an asshole here and there but overall people usually mean well. One of the greatest things about this event is the feeling of doing well and giving something back. It’s made me ask myself, why did we wait until a park was in jeopardy of closing to celebrate it? Every day we pass over opportunities to be thankful and to stand up for the things we believe in. I would love to host and participate in events such as U4T on a regular basis.

So, my question is….What would YOU like 518fever.com to stand up for?

What’s your favorite cause?

What organization do you believe in and thinks deserves support?

Tell me and sell me on why your cause or organization should get recognized and supported and we’ll put the gears in motion. Ready…..Set……Go!!!!

Year 2000.

It was my senior year of high school and I went to a house party. I did not have one sip of alcohol that night but had a blast anyway. I did however, drive some friends home and thought it wouldn’t be bad idea to get high in the car. So I’m driving and smoking and I see all theses flashing lights up the road. I say out loud “Wow some drink asshole probably caused an accident”. As I get closer to the flashing lights I realize that this is not an accident, but a sobriety check point instead. I could have taken a right or left hand turn and avoided the entire thing, but it was too late by the time I realized what was actually happening. When I pulled up and rolled my window down the smoke from my hot boxed car went directly in the police officers face. Sine I was high, I though this was pretty funny and laughed a little. No so funny…. Ended up with a dwai-drugs and a possessions charge. When asked what we used the baggies for that were in the car I said that I collected stamps. Man I was dumb lol!

Year 2001 or 2002

My friend Kardi and I were in Florida visiting our friend Jay who lived in the Lake Buena Vista area in a place called Vista Way, or Vista Get Laid as the residents called it! We went to a block party at a Bennigans. It was one of the most fun times I’ve ever had. I was about 20 years old and used my fake ID to get in, good ol’ Meredith! Jay, Kardi and I got hammered, like, hammered hammered! We drank all day and we’re acting like fools at this block party. We were dancing and grinding on each other and eventually, Kardi got kicked out for being so intoxicated. Our friend Jay went and got the car (not so smart thinking back on it) and we drove Kardi back to the hotel we were staying at. We pulled up and I ran inside and got a luggage cart. We put Kardi on the cart and pushed him inside. We picked him up; one arm over my shoulder and one arm over Jay’s and got him in the elevator. In the elevator was a family of four who quite obviously just got back from a day at Disney World. They had Mickey Mouse ears on and souvenir bags. The kids were probably about 4 and 8 years old. The father literally put his hands around the youngest kids eyes so that they didn’t see us. I looked over at Kardi’s dangling body and started laughing because there was a line a drool going from the corner of his mouth all the way down to the floor. He was muttering some phrases along the lines of “I love spring break! Yay St. Patrick’s Day!” After getting Kardi up to the room we drank a couple Tequizas. Yes, I said Tequizas! This was back in my champion days so like the champ I was, Jay and I put Kardi to bed and went back out for the night!!

Year 2004

My friend Chelsea and I went to a block party – again at Bennigans! I gotta give it to them; they have some bangin St. Patty’s Day parties! Fly 92.3 was there and they held a contest to win Green Day tickets at the then Pepsi Arena. To win, you had to make the biggest greenest thing. So we my friend and I stumbled over to a nearby Staples and bought a huge roll of poster paper and some green spray paint. We wrote “We’ll take you to Paradise if you take us to Green Day” on it. This thing was freakin huge! When it was time for the contest everyone came out with their signs and shirts that they had made. The guys that went before us pulled up a car, that someone actually painted green and decorated with a bunch of Green Day logos and what not. Everyone pretty much knew at this point, that this car was the winner. Finally it was our turn to show our sign. We rolled it open and it actually spread over the length of the decorated car!! The guys who owned the car were so pissed! We won the tickets and got front row at Green Day and My Chemical Romance. Sweet victory!

Year 2010

Enough said, enjoy!!

What’s some of your most memorable St. Patty’s Day stories?!?!

Someone once told me, that the square block was just supposed to fit in the square hole. When I heard this, I thought the person was demented. I thought, ”Ummmm Nooooo…..things just don’t fall into place like that. If you want something to work, to fit, you have to work on it, maybe make some adjustments or trim around the edges. I thought, “How could it just be that simple”? I don’t know of anything in life thus far that has been simple, not anything that has been really worth it to me anyways. Well, the more I’ve thought about it and tried to understand it, I realize, my friend isn’t so nuts. Some things are just meant to be a certain way and when you try my method, of squeezing and forcing the square peg, it doesn’t always work. I’m not exactly sure what makes the square peg slide right in, but I know that by force is certainly not the way. Maybe its just time? Maybe its maturity? Maybe it’s by trail and error? Maybe the square peg tried all the triangles and circles before it realized where the square hole was. Or who knows, maybe it just needs some lube!!!

I want to know – How Do You Think the Square Peg Finds it Way to the Square Hole? When is it Appropriate to Just Let Things Be?

Of what you ask? Tonight I actually have an answer lol! I have formally decided to let go of everything I thought should be a certain way. I am starting to realize, that things are what they are. Those of you that know me know that I over think and over analyze everything. Literally, everything. And I always need closure, always need to know why something is the way it is. Well guess what – it is what it is and there’s no way around it. I have decided to no let others hold the key to my happiness. I am going to hold it myself. Im not even going to hold it, I’m going to tie it on chain and wear it around my neck, all day every day and even when I go to sleep.

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Good question. I hope you don’t think I am going to give you an answer, because I really have no clue. Recent events in my life have made me think of this topic and wonder the relevance of timing in various aspects of my life. My initial thought was that it depended on the topic at hand. This question can apply to many different situations, for example, business decisions, purchasing decisions and relationship decisions. To help me get the answer to this question I did what anyone would do, I Googled it! I have to admit, I am completely shocked that only one result on the first page attempted to answer this question in regard to something other than relationships. I’ve listed below the responses and quotes that gave me the biggest emotional response. I’m not saying I agree or disagree, just putting out there what made me feel the strongest, whether it was a positive or negative response. And for those of you wondering, yes I was looking for the answer in regard to relationships lol!

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As half the world already knows, I got a puppy last Friday, Jan. 08^th. He is an American Pitbull Terrier that weighs 15 pounds. He is currently 16 weeks old and goes by the name Diggy, aka Mr. Diggy, aka Digster aka Digga, aka D, aka lucky to be alive after last night! He looks so cute and innocence doesn’t he?? Do not be fooled people! Do not be fooled!

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So this is the third blog post I’ve started in the last few days. I feel a loss for words for what I want to write about. I used to only write about running and my running experiences. The problem with that now is that I haven’t been running. I was registered to run my first marathon on January 17^th, out in Arizona. My brother was going to run it with me. Long story short my brother ended up having to move from AZ to Boston earlier that he thought. He actually left last week to start the long drive. I wasn’t going to go out there by myself and run it alone or without anyone I knew there for me. Knowing that my plans were interrupted really got me in a rut and I admit to losing most of my motivation.

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