Hmmmm….where to start! When you work in the bar businesses for 12 years you pretty much hear it all. I’ve often considered myself a therapist and even charged an extra buck or two to those who think they are in a shrink’s office and not at a bar. Oh and just a quick note, crying at the bar is not cool and will not get you a pity date! Not only am I going to share with you the 5 worst/most corny pick up lines that I’ve heard but I’m also going to share a story on what has made me run in the opposite direction!

Here we go:

1)    (after brief conversation about my running) “Really? You’re a runner? I knew it! Cause you’ve been running through my mind all day!”
This line is sooooo old! The guy knew it was dumb but felt it appropriate as I am a runner!

2)    “Hey cutie, do you wash your shorts with Windex? Cause I can see myself in them.”
Gag!! What the hell is wrong with people!!

3)    Bar dude “Got plans after your shift is over? I was thinking we could go back to my place, order a pizza and well….you know.”
My reply “ahhhh…noooooo”
Bar dude “What you don’t like pizza”?
Witty, I will give him that!

4)    Very Drunk dude “I think…..I think…. I think I fell in love! I did…for sure…yes I love you! You’re the one for me! But I’m not worthy…..who cares though…come on baby….lets go….if I can get it up you won’t regret it….”
Yes, this actually went down while closing up one night and there was a huge audience. It was the funniest god dammed thing I’d ever heard!!

5)    Bar dude “You must get hit on all the time being a cute bartender” (nooooo I’ve never heard this and have no idea where your going with it, please continue) “Well, I never do this myself and I know it’s totally cliché, but maybe I can take you out sometime”. Oh yes! Because the only thing I know about you is that you have bad taste in Vodka and you ask out bartenders after your first sip. One, you’re a light weight and two, you just suck at life.

Not too many things scare me away or freak me out. Congratulations to this winner:

I chilled with this guy a couple times and had a pretty good time. One night we met at a bar and then were heading back to his place. He told me to follow him. As I’m driving behind him I notice a bumper sticker on his bumper (go figure)! I could see an outline of a cat or something and I thought “how nice, he’s an animal lover”. As we approach a red light I’m able to read the sticker. It reads: Save a Mouse. Eat a Pussy. I decided he was probably a pig and turned at the light as he kept going straight!

What’s the Worst Line Someone has Used on You?!?!