I look to my right again and there are two more kids walking up the street. No way…..this isn’t happening…I’m about to wake up in my bed and discover that this was all a dream. NOPE! Two more kids, walking up the street, school bus waiting. I didn’t think  it was possible for anyone to walk slower than the first kid, but I was wrong. This is yet another example of how the saying “It cant get any worse”, as mentioned in Volume 3 of my C.I.G.s series, is often erroneous. At this point in time my heart is pounding in my chest and I roll the window down to yell “Lets go you little bastards!! Put a freakin hop in your step would ya?!?” I did not actually yell this. I reaaaally wanted to but figured I would look completely insane. I was cursing and I know that the bus driver was reading my lips! These two kids really got under my skin. Who do they think they are? Strolling down the street like a Sunday afternoon, probably just did a wake and bake and are high as hell…I mean… I was at that age…but Jesus, move your ass!

3.5 minutes. That is completely ridiculous.

I can not believe the bus waited for them. When I was a kid (man I feel old saying that) you could be full force sprinting with sweat beads dripping down your face trying to catch the bus and you know what they would do? They would drive off, probably laughing at your pathetic ass. Then you would get beat half  the way to school by the parent that now had to drive you in. What happened to these days?!?!?

I’m a little embarrassed that I got so worked up about this but it reaaaally irked me!

Thanks for listening and I hope you never experience this annoyance. Until next time, I gotta run!

I’m just about ready to release Volume 5 of my So Many C.I.G.s series, but before I do so I need some feedback. Majority will rule.
I plan to post on ridiculous 1) profile names 2) ridiculous about me sections and 3) ridiculous about my partner sections. Do you think I should omit the Profile Name section? They are real names and the last thing I want to do is offend anyone. However I also feel like they put it out there to begin with and its not like they are the persons real name…..just some ridiculous catch phrase, more or less.

I’m asking your opinion because a friend of mine said I was ruthless when I told him what I wanted to post about. This, by the way, is the same person who is a self proclaimed expert on these sites and uses them to have random hook ups. Yea, I said it!

So let me know your thoughts. Yay or Nay on posting real Profile Names.

Thanks all

Short. Simple. Polite. So what’s the deal? What makes so many of us bypass these two small syllables in our day to day ventures? This has always been a pet peeve of mine and probably should have been listed in my “5 Things That Piss Me Off” post.

A recent race I participated in got me a bit fired up about this. The Workforce Challenge (mentioned in my last post) was help in Albany last week. Appointment 8,000 people run in that race. Now every person that runs is provided a tag on their bib to get a tee-shirt and “goodie bag” before or after the race. This is just one area of many that call for the assistance of Volunteers. As you can imagine with 8,000 + people the lines get extremely long. I’m usually surprised at the organization and how fast everyone manages to get through.

While waiting in line for my bag last Thursday (yes I usually get the bag. You never know what could be in it! It could be something really cool that I don’t even know about!) I watched everyone in front of me hand their ticket off to the volunteers and then proceed down the line where other volunteers nicely passed them their bag. I don’t think I heard one person say “Thank You”. Here these people are, standing on their feet out in the heat and humidity so that you can get a freaking banana and bottle of water and you cant even say “thank you”……REALLY?!?

When it came time for me to hand my ticket in I looked right at the female volunteer and smiled as big as big as I could. “Thanks so Much” I said, “Appreciate it”. She returned the smile, said “You’re Welcome” and seemed to have restored some faith in mankind. I did the same when I was handed my bag. I assume the people around me who just ignored the volunteers probably felt stupid for not saying “thank you” after hearing my ultimate enthusiastic one. Now that I think about it though, they probably don’t. They probably have no clue how freakin ignorant they are. Do these people think they are owed something? Too good for a simple “thanks”?

No matter what the situation, from a good hand job to the opening of a door…..say it with me people “Thank You”!

And THANK YOU for reading my blog! Until next time, I gotta run

I cant believe it! It’s been one year since I joined the 518fever.com team! And what a year it has been! Lots of ups, lots of downs and most importantly, lots of learning. It’s very cool to look at my blog and see May 2009 when I did my first post. I think it’s important to look back and reflect on your life and the changes that have occurred on a regular basis. I will be doing a post in the near future which will reflect on the past year of my life. For today, since its been awhile, I thought I would blog on running. My first post back in May 2009 was on the GHI Workforce Challenge, which was my first race ever. Last night I ran it for the second time. I re read my post from last year and I cant not believe the differences! Where to start…..

So last year I came in second place out of the females for my company. My time was 35:31. This year, I came in first for females and second out of all of my company’s participants. The first place male finished just over 31 minutes and I finished in 32:02. Since I have not been running as hard core as I was this time last year, my goal was just to beat last years time! I am more than happy shaving 3.5 minutes of my time; that’s 1 whole minute per hour! I know that probably doesn’t sound like a lot of time but trust me, its hard to do. I killed my first mile in 8:18 which is the just about the fastest mile I have ever done. Not a smart move….it made the remaining 2.5 miles very hard. Better to run at a consistent pace or steadily increase than exerting all your energy at the start. I couldn’t help it, I was all fired up and ready to go!

Lets see what else….

At the end of the race last year I stood over a garbage can prepared to get sick. This year, I felt good, ready to go again! I did feel very bad for a girl close to me who was vomiting into her hands at the end of the race. “Medical team is to the right” I heard one of the volunteers say.

Last year I was very annoyed running in a crowd of 8000 people. This year not as much. Perhaps because I have ran many races in the last year and am more used to it. The humidity wasn’t as bad this year either so people didn’t smell as ripe!

When i started running last year, I read that I would put the treadmill on 4.2 and have to slow down after only a couple of minutes. I stay consistent on 6 now and have gone up to 8.5! 4.2 is slower than my cool down now! So weird……and awesome.

I stood under one of the fire hoses at the end of the race last year, after I determined I wasn’t going to be violently ill. This year I just drank a cup of water!

Last year I only knew the people running that I worked with. This year I saw many familiar A.R.E. faces and even ran with another member for a short spurt of time!

This year I did not look at any other runners and say to myself “wow they don’t look like a runner”. Anyone can be a runner, we come in many shapes and sizes

I want to shout out one my best friends, a Miss Leigh Marcella, who recently started running and also ran last nights race. She finished strong in 35:20! Second place female for my company’s team! Awesome job Leigh, I’m very proud of you and cant wait for the Boilermaker!!

It’s been a real treat being able to look back at last years post about this race. I was very hesitant about blogging at first but it’s become a hobby of sorts and something I really enjoy doing. (Thanks Tony!) I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I do writing it.

Until next time, I gotta run!

I’m loving how much everyone seems to be enjoying this series! Since I haven’t logged into Match in about a week, except to show a friend and poke fun at it, I’m not sure how much longer this series will continue. I will say that I have had a ton of fun writing these post! So much fun that I may continue with Match for “research” purposes so I can continue! Maybe I could even grow my series into a collection and put together a short book that could later become its own show! I can see it now “Secret Diary of an Internet Dater”. Whatcha think?!?!

Anyways, on to the real stuff. I thought I would fill everyone in on the annoyances I have experienced with Internet Dating:

My profile clearly states I am looking for a MAN between the ages of 27 - 34. Since about 75% of the people that either winked at me, e-mailed me or popped up on the sites Instant Messaging feature were outside of this age group, I will assume 1 of two things: 1) They are illiterate. 2) They didn’t bother to read my profile in the first place. I’m a busy girl, I rather not spend the free time I do have weeding through a bunch of non-potentials.

Just because we both have one thing in common does not mean we are a match made in heaven. The only “cool” person that I have met off the site (not in real life yet of course) gave the best example of this.” Oh My Gaawd!! You like Green?!?! I LOOOOVE Green!!  This has to be a Sign!! Lets Screw, Get Married and Make Babies!” Ummm……no.
Receiving e-mails (often someones first) that are approximately the same length as a chapter I would be assigned to read in college. I thought the point of this was to get to know someone? No? Again, I assume two things: 1) You have absolutely no friends or life and are literally starving for some sort of attention. 2) You do have friends and a life but suck so bad at it you now find yourself sending a complete stranger an autobiography. Congratulations.

You may have noticed earlier that I capitalized the word MAN. That is because I am seeking a MAN. Am I that awesome that a couple of women have contacted me as well? Apparently I am! Don’t get me wrong guys, I get it…Girls have smooth skin……soft lips…..we smell nice….ahhhh memories…..but a girl will never be my other half!

If your profile name has the number 69 in it, get a life. Please, do me and yourself a favor.

If your profile is noticeably scanned from a1989 Polaroid, you are automatically a liar in my book without speaking a word. It’s time to get on the Ashton wagon and get yourself a COOLPIX.

And there you have it! Well, some of it, I could go probably go on but want to save some suspense for later

Hope you enjoyed! Remember, there is always joy in someone elses misery lol! (comforting, I know)

While you’re here, dont forget to check out the rest of 518fever.com. Make a fever profile, view over 100 bar/restaurant profiles, check out our music directory and listen to free tunes, read other blogs or  join our singles group…its not creepy, I promise!

Until next time, I gotta run!

As promised, here is a look into my one and only “meet up” from match.com. No, I am not calling it a date as it was far from that. It simply was, a meet and greet!

Let me give you a little background: I first “wink” at his guy after viewing his profile. He was my first wink! Awwww adorable right? Or extremly corny……whatever you wish to call it! So then he e-mails me back. It wasn’t some stupid ” Hey I really like what I saw in your profile” or “We seem to have a ton in common” e-mail, but rather something short and sweet with a quick, non invasive non creepy compliment….something very generic…and safe I may add. We e-mail back and forth a couple of times and then he gave me his digits. Oh God, he actually wants me to use these?!?! I’m not calling this guy, no freakin way! WEIRD. I’ll text him

After reading this please see Tony’s most recent post Texting Can Lead to Serious Issues. Siiiiiiiiigh.

So here we are, the two of us, texting away, exchanging many smiley faces and lol’s! Love is in the air! Please note the sarcasm here people.

After a couple days of this we decide to make the big move and actually talk on the phone. A brief conversation later we decide to actually meet one another, in person. Holy shit I’m freaking out! I’m going to meet a stranger! What if he doesn’t look like his picture? What is he’s actually like, 70 years old but convinced I would fall in love with him if I just gave him a chance? What if he is a creepy stalker guy who will haunt me the rest of my life? I cant make these kinds of plans over the phone. We decide to text about it later or the next day.

I pick the place and yes it was a bar. My guy friends who are the self proclaimed experts advised me not to do this as the guy may think I just want to get bombed and have a good time for the night…if you know what I mean! Of course you do you pervs! I heart you all btw! Anyway I pick a place that I rarely ever go to. When I say rarely I mean a place that I have only been to once since I could drink legally.

I tell him 6:30 but I get there at about 6:10pm. I want to be there first and have already bought my beer and perhaps have done a shot.I believe that alcohol sets more of a social setting than a Starbucks and also relaxes you in these sorts of awkward situations. So I grab my beer and grab a high top table. There I sit. Alone. I think to myself “This is my worst nightmare. This is it. I’m living it, right here right now. Well, at least I have a beer.”

As these thoughts roll in and out of my head a man approaches me and says “Hi there”. This man looks nothing like the picture! I say hello back. “How are ya” he asks. “Great, you?” Thankfully he responded with “I”m Steve”. My guys name is NOT Steve. “Nice to meet ya Steve” and I quickly turn around. Little did I know that Steve and his friends, one man, on women, both slightly hammered, were sitting at the table next to me. Then they start, women first” Oh my God! You’re so pretty! Why are you all by yourself?!?” Kill me know, please just kill me now. The nightmare is getting worse. Never think it cant get any worse. Who ever said that is a fucking idiot who obviosly has no life experience.

My guy finall comes. He says hello and heads to the bar to get a drink. He sits dwn and we begin to chat. There was no spark. No fireworks. No Hollywood movie scene. Just two people, both noticeably nervous, trying to have an adult conversation. He calls our meet and greet a first date, I get slightly nauseous. I catch him in a lie but let it go, its really just not worth it. He bad mouths a job that I once had. As you can see, this was going no where. I humored the situation for two beers, mostly because the bar had a unique draft I liked. I knew once I left and got in my car that I would ever wink at, e-mail, text, talk or meet this guy again.

I could go on with the details but want to protect the innocent lol. I wouldn’t be happy if someone bashed me so I’m just going to leave ya’s with the above.

And CONGRATULATIONS Dan!! You have guessed the title of this short series correctly! C.I.G.’s stands for CREEPY INTERNET GUYs. Watch out ladies, they’re out there! More to come soon so please stay tuned. As always don’t be shy, please feel free to comment here and don’t forget to check out the rest of 518fever.com’s blogs!!

Until next time, I gotta run!

I have to say that I’m a bit surprised at the form of responses I got on Volume 1 of this short series.  My post usually get a good amount of comments if not on the blog itself then at least on my fb wall. I probably got more responses yesterday than I ever have, but just not on fb or my blog! Except for Liz, thanks Liz!! My phone blew up with text messages, black berry messengers and the fb e-mails came pouring in! I have to say I think its funny no one wanted to say what was on their mind out in the open for the world to see! Don’t be shy people! If I can laugh about this and take it lightheartedly so should you!!

So before I spill the beans, anyone want to take a guess at what C.I.G.S. stand for?? Give it a shot! Again, Tony, shhhhhhh!

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I’m not even sure where to start with this post. I guess I’ll just come right out and say it. I joined a dating site. Yup, that’s right, I did it. After all the times I have made fun of my friends who are on them, I signed up myself. (and yes of course they all think this is hilarious)! I signed up just over a week ago and so far my profile has been viewed 1091 times. CREEPY. I was made aware by a friend who is a self proclaimed expert on these sites that I can make my profile private, which I finally did today. The entire process for me has been very overwhelming. I average about 8 hits per hour and have been flooded with “winks” “e-mails” “vip e-mails”  and “interests”. People have literally written me books in e-mails….its really insane…who has time for that?!?!? I thought I would share with you the best of the best….you will now get to see what I have suffered through! Perhaps tomorrow or the next day I will share with you my first and only “date” experience, which, really, in my opinion was very far from an actual date, but I guess that’s what the kids are calling it these day. Annnnd here we go…combination of profile clips and e-mails:

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We’ve all had hangovers in the past, some of us probably more than others! As you know they can range from a physically sick and on your death bed type of feeling to what I call “The Fuzzies”. The Fuzzies are a state of temporary brain damage due to heavy drinking that usually last 1 day (unless you got super hammered then they may last 2)

Here are some of my most fuzzy moments……some as of just recently!

#1 Most Fuzzy Moment Ever: After getting home from a Bachelorette weekend in the Cape, I walked up to my apartments door and held out the remote door lock for my car. I pressed it several times until I realized I was trying to open my apartment door, not my car door.

No folks, that is not a made up story. I seriously thought about committing myself after that one! The below instances aren’t really that bad, its just that they mostly happened with the same day or so!

Realizing I left the stove on after I had finished eating….about 45 minutes later! We’ve all done this right??

Closing Diggy in my garage, well almost. Just as the door was about to shut he came flying out! Thanks goodness because I don’t think I would have looked for him there

As most of you know I work full time for TWC. I can hook a cable box up with my eyes shut. I recently bought a new TV for my bedroom and instead of running the cable line to the box, I tried connecting it to the TV first and then wondered why it didn’t work.

And lastly……this probably my #2 Most Fuzzy Moment Ever:

I did a load of laundry and switched my clothes from the washer to the dryer. Once those clothes were dry I repeated the process. I hit the button on the dryer several times but it wouldn’t turn on. I checked the power cord and made sure everything was connected. Finally I called my Uncle to come over and help me figure out the problem. All he did was look at it and push the “push to start” button. BAM! Dryer started! I was tuning the knob with the settings on it and pulling it out, like you do on a washing machine. Siiiiiiigh.

So those are some of my most embarrassing moments. Can you beat them?!?! Give it a shot!!

Until next time…..I gotta run!

Random run yesterday. I get ready to leave from my parents house and do my normal check list. Gum - check! Garmin watch - check! IPod - check! Mace - check! (yes I run with mace, I have had close encounters with dogs)! Sneakers double tied - check! And I’m off!!

So I start out at a moderate pace…ok maybe quicker than moderate, but I’m psyched cause its nice and warm out and haven’t been running outdoors as much as I’d like to. I see a girl walking in front of me. Walking target, awesome, cant wait to pass her! Pass walking girl and next thing I know something flies in my eye and nearly blinds me. Apparently I forgot my sunglasses when reviewing my checklist. So I’m running with one eye squeezed shut now and thinking to myself this blooooooows! After winking more times than an overweight 45 year old man who is “just looking for that special someone” on match.com, I finally work out whatever it was that violated my eyeball!

Heading down Central Ave is not so bad. I got my tunes going and I’m feeling like life is good. Then, out of no where, I feel completely exhausted and like I may collapse at any given moment. Do I dare look at my mileage? Do I? That could make the situation so much better or worse! I cant resist, I look down at the watch. 2.25 miles. YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME!!! I wanted to do at least 6 miles but now I’m dying at 2. freaking 5? Amateur! Maybe this is when, in my defense, I tell you that it was day 10 of no meat or chicken. I think I was just lacking protein…..So anyways I run up to 2.5 and then turn around to head back home. As I’m running I see a guy in front of me, heading towards me, on a pair of crutches, I think to myself “suck it up Maria, he probably wishes he could be running”. I look to my right and watch a couple cars pass me on Central Ave and then look forward again. This man on crutches is now laying on the ground, on his side, with the crutches right along side of him. When I get up to him I stop and ask if I can help him with anything, He had a semi large back pack on and had been holding a decent sized lunch bag of sorts. He was very embarrassed and said that he “just tilted to the side a little too much”. I told him no worries and that I needed a break anyways, which, at the point, wasn’t far from the truth. I helped him take the backpack off his back and then I placed it,  along with the lunch bag thingy, on the step in front of his house (he literally fell directly in front of his house) He thanked me and told me his wife would be home soon and she would bring it inside. Then I headed on.

Made it to my cut down street to Albany Street and as soon as I turn the corner I see my friend Eddie stopped at the red light. I havent seen him in about 5 years and had lost his contact information. He noticed me right away and pulled down a side street. I ran over to him and chatted with him for a bit! I didnt want to stop again but it was nice to see an old friend and exchange contact info! Off I go again. I’m now on a side street that cuts through to my moms neighborhood and shortens the length of my run, which again, is fine with me as I seriously feel like my limp, lifeless body will be found on the side of the road. I repeat a mantra every step I take - Just. Keep. Going. Just. Keep. Going. And then, BAM!! STUNG BY A FREAKIN BEE!! Right in the left arm, out of nowhere! Didnt even see the little bastard coming!! Have I mentioned yet that I am highly allergic of bees? That my throat closes up and my body blows up? Yeah, I’m freakin thrilled now…..and scared! I think about stopping at someones house and then say to myself “what the hell are they gonna do for me?” Just. Keep. Going.

I finally make it back to my moms place. I look down at my arm and amazingly it hadn’t started to swell, I determine at this point it wasnt a bee or else I would be in much worse shape. Though all my friends that saw it last night said it looked like a bee sting. Needless to say, I did not blow up like a puffer fish, I did not stop breathing and have obviously lived to tell the story. Arm definitely itches though….

So there you have it! Hope you have enjoyed! My run today was much better due do an awesome shake I drank 15 minutes before! 6.5 today was better than 4.5 yesterday.

Until next time, I gotta run!