We have all read numerous books that try to explain the meanings of our dreams. Some say seeing a baby means you are going to come into money, others say a bird means someone is plotting something evil against you and some tie your dreams into some odd formula that incorporates your astrological signs.

Do I think there are meanings to dreams? Yes. But I definitely DO NOT think that each of our individual dreams can be summed up in dictionary fashion by a book with a fancy title. It’s a shameless money grab. Some people may be experiencing night terrors or a specific re-occurring dream that they desperately need to explore. These books really offer no true explanation but give false hope that one has been discovered.

MY turn. This small little post is going to give you the explanation to all your dreams. I promise. You can send payment of $5 or ONE BEER to me, at a neighborhood bar. I do not accept personal checks or money orders. I.O.U’s may be accepted id the promised reward is something really awesome. I also accept bribes

Bird – Ahh the bird…seeing a bird in your dreams means one of two things. Grey Goose is in your near future. Will you find wealth or love when you see the bird? Probably not, but drinking Grey Goose in large quantities will make you feel like a million bucks AND may also improve the looks of everyone around you causing you to fall in love…Love & Wealth!

Or quite simply…you Twitter too damn much

Baby - Supposedly this means money. Not here. Seeing a baby in your dreams means something different for each gender.

Men: You should have used protection. That crazy woman you met at the local bar who puked in your bed may now be a major part of your life. Don’t just but condoms…use them. In this instance the dream baby mocks you.

Women: You’ve been too one too many baby showers or have been watching Oxygen or W.E far too much. Alleviate this persistent dream by watching some Family Guy or Ghost Hunters.

Teeth Falling Out – This one is easy…Keep your damn mouth shut!!!

Money – This is God’ practical joke. We have all had these dreams at one time of another. You come in to a lot of money somehow (it’s always different) and you mentally plan out what to do with the money. You’re excited obviously.

I’ve personally even thought to myself; “This better not be a dream, if it is WAKE UP”…After a few more dream segments I wake up….still broke. Damn you!!!

Wet Dream – You have the mentality of a 16 year old adolescent male…..Join the club! Some of us have membership cards.

Dreams with Freddy Krueger or Jason – Your name is Anthony DiMoro and you watch far too many horror movies. You also enjoy these nightmares far too much. My suggestion to myself is to get help and THEN get a 2nd opinion.

Falling, Dying or Physical Violence – Go drink more…you need to loosen up. Staying stationary on a bar stool will stop the feeling of free falling. Consuming more than 3 beers will make you feel pretty lively and after beer 6 you’ll be telling everyone how much you love them. Eliminates all three problems right? Damn, I’m good.

Deceased Loved Ones – This I truly believe is their way of dropping in for a visit. I never get too religious on this blog but I do believe that this is a way loved ones who have past check in on us and say hello. I’ve had these dreams before. I still can remember the two dogs I grew up with (Misty & Coccoa) coming to me in a dream a few years back (long after they had died). Both happy and cheerful. I only wish I had these dreams more often.

The truth is dreams are left to be interpreted by the person having them. Maybe some of us find some sort of peace of mind with someone telling us what they mean. We all believe in different things.

To this day dreams are still something of a mystery.

Until next post…sweet dreams!